Last year I read C.S. Lewis’ “The Four Loves” and it impacted me a great deal. It complemented aspects of another book I had been mulling over (“Boundaries” by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend) and some very personal words I believe the Lord had been speaking to me.
Here’s what I took away from it. (I’m afraid there’s gonna be a lot of paraphrasing… so make sure you read the book if you haven’t already!)
Lewis proposes that the beginning of friendship is when one person asks another, “Do you see the same truth?” Friends share a common goal or a common interest; they are looking toward that goal or interest together.
If a relationship becomes a romantic one, however, their eyes tend to be drawn to each other, rather than toward a *separate* goal or interest.
I found these observations to be quite useful. The question, “Do you see the same truth?” struck me with its simplicity and power. I almost felt like it would be too intense to begin with the full phrase.
Many times, we see in others what we’d like to see. We can read things into conversations and social media accounts that aren’t really there. We can place unspoken, unrealistic expectations on people that we want to like us.
To touch on a principle from “Boundaries”, it’s important to keep in mind where oneself ends and the other person begins. Otherwise, either person could get lost in the friendship or relationship.
So, before we ask “Do you see the same truth?” or we find our eyes drawn to another person, I think we need to prayerfully ask *ourselves* a few questions:
“Do you *see*?”
“Do you really see the person in front of you? The complete person?”
We gotta keep coming back to the mirror of God’s Word and keep asking the Lord to help us see His truth, THE truth.
Because that is the ultimate relationship which will determine the course of all others. And only He can make our blind eyes see.
I hope these words will encourage and help you as they have helped me!
Liv'n'Hope 